Friday, November 21, 2014

A Letter to My Husband, 20 Years From Now

To My Dear Sweet Husband,

When I woke up the other day beside you, the first thing that crossed my mind was the nightmare I had the night before. The horrible dream where I envisioned us getting into a huge fight and walking away from each other. I wasn't even able to finish the dream, so I don't know how it turned out. But it terrified me. I think it's because of all of the emotions lately as we have witnessed many of our friends talking about divorce, and I simply don't ever want that to be us. I never want to wake up without you by my side (and yes, I know you're thinking I sleep in way past you most days, but that's not the point). I accept that it's up to us and God to trust and believe in our marriage, but there's just a few things I wanted to say as we are approaching our first year anniversary that I hope we can read together in the future.

You're the most supportive man I could ever dream of having beside me. You go to work each in a very tough career field, yet you are more willing to talk about me and the day I've been having. Thousands of lives are placed into your hands day after day, and while you understand this, you approach it with ease. You're confident but not cocky, sure but not over-sure. You trust in yourself, and you know that working hard and loving what you do is what always matters. I'm so proud of you, and I know I couldn't do what you do every day. I hope to always remember this, and when I'm feeling selfish and just wanting to talk about "me," that I remember how much you have sacrificed to give us our home and our lives as we know them. I will never be able to thank you enough for that.

I love to look over at your sweet face when you're not looking. When you're hard at work in the kitchen perfecting yet another meal for us (homemade biscuits and gravy? pizza with the crust and sauce from scratch? yummm) or working on balancing our checkbook. The concentration in your eyes and the devotion you have to our little family of four (Honey and Mickey are of course included) is incredible. You have never once led me to believe that I was in charge of the "household" items. We've been a team from the start, and though it's weird that I look forward to those moments when we're cleaning the house together (you vacuuming, me cleaning the bathrooms), I absolutely do. They're heart warming, and trust me, you're a sexier man to me because of it.

I eagerly await every night when I'm laying by your side, listening to your heart beat, and just talking before we drift off to sleep. It brings me such joy to know that we share everything with each other. We've always been 100% honest with the other, even when it was hard to do. I trust you with my whole heart and believe that I always will.

I'm so attracted to you, babe, in every way. Your mind is amazing. You are the most intelligent man I know, and even when you refute it, I know it's true. You know more about history and culture; read more and keep up with current events; discuss politics and science. We argue about sports and joke about each other's teams, and while I probably know more about football and baseball, you definitely know the rest more than I do. :) You yearn to keep learning and never stop, and you encourage me to reach my dreams.

More than anything, you are kind and caring. I know I fell in love with you that first day I met you. And told you shortly after accidentally (oops) and was insanely happy when you said it back. But, the love I feel when you ask how my sister is doing that day, or genuinely care about my family, as well as yours, is so deep. My friends are your friends. My family is yours. You opened your heart and arms, and I'm so inspired by your unselfish heart. Always the first person to lend a hand to someone in need. I don't think anyone else has encountered more people on the side of the road and always stopped to help, even if it took several hours out of your day. That's just the type of person that you are, and I'm so lucky to have you.

I hope we always have that type of relationship where we can bicker about something small and end up laughing less than 5 minutes later. The one where the other can finish our sentence exactly the way we were going to, and though it surprises us a little, deep down we know it's because we understand each other better than we understand ourselves. The one where we truly enjoy doing whatever the other wants because we're together. Even watching TV on the couch is a dream come true because you are right there beside me. The one where even though we know each other so well, we are always trying to learn new things about each other. I've always dreamed about falling in love with my best friend and marrying him, but this reality, the one where I really am married to my best friend, to you, is even better than I had in my dreams.

If something strives to tear us apart, I promise to re-read this letter and remember all over why I fall in love with you more and more everyday. I promise to put aside the selfish feelings and the hurt and anger and know that whatever it is happening between us, deep down, you and I are truly committed to one another, and you are the only person for me in this world. I'm sorry for the little things, like not always talking out my frustrations and letting them pile up or for being overly opinionated at times, as well as the bigger things. I know there are always going to be trials and hard times, but I promise to stay calm and work through them with you. Because they're going to teach us something, babe, and I can't wait to learn more about you and our marriage. I know we have the strongest bond possible, and with God's help, we're going to keep making it stronger.

I'll continue to pray for us constantly, and I hope when we read this 20 years from now, we laugh at all the times we wanted to ring each other's neck. I hope we reminisce on the good times... and the bad. The times when we just didn't know what to do, but we made it work anyway. Even if we're in a struggling point, I vow to sit down and write. Write down the qualities I love about you. Because no matter what, they are always going to outnumber the ones I might not like so much. They are what makes you "you," and you are perfect to me.

I'll keep loving you forever... :)

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Much Love!

Much Love!