Love Your Body, Love Yourself

I never used to have a big problem with body image. I would question if I was pretty or if my teeth were white or straight enough at times, but for the most part, I didn’t care too much. There were other things more important to worry about. But lately, I have found myself struggling with how I look more and more. I don’t even understand why since I am loving life now more than I probably ever have. I have an incredible husband who always tells me I look good and calls me beautiful. Anytime I’m self-conscious, he tells me he doesn’t understand why and that I look great. I have a great supportive family that tells me I am gorgeous on the inside and out. What more could I want?

When I first met my husband, I was the smallest I had ever been. I had previously gone through some difficult times in my life, and I wasn’t eating much. I was never hungry. That all changed when I met the love of my life. Life in general just started getting better. I was HAPPY. I was loving life, and I knew everything was finally falling into place. (Side note: I'm not saying you need a man to be happy. But my man changed my life, and with him, days became enjoyable again.) However, I didn’t focus on some things, like eating right or exercising. We would go for walks with Honey, but I wasn’t running or going to the gym like I had previously been. So, of course, I started gaining weight. A month before my wedding, I discovered I was the heaviest I had ever been. But, I didn’t care. I wasn’t “obese,” but I was overweight. I felt pretty around my husband always, and that was what mattered to me. Since moving to Utah, though, I’m trying to take control of my weight. I have lost some through our adventures hiking, biking, etc., but for some reason, even though I have been doing everything as right as possible most of the time (gave up soda, cut back dramatically on breads, eat mostly grilled chicken for protein sources, tons of veggies, exercise 5-7 times a week, drink tons of water, etc.), I am struggling to lose those extra pounds.

My weight struggle caused me to constantly notice others, too. “Those girls running on the side of the road look so toned and skinny!” “Wow, I wonder how she lost all that weight. Maybe I should try that.” It’s normal to notice these things about others because society teaches us to compare ourselves to everyone, especially as girls. Isn’t that what Facebook and Instagram are for? But last week, I suddenly had the realization that it didn’t matter. It does not matter what weight I am now or before. My husband obviously doesn't mind that I’m 25 pounds heavier than I was when I first met him, so why should I? If I can’t love myself at this weight, how am I supposed to expect others to love me? I am a huge proponent of “be the person you would want to know and be friends with” concept. Constantly comparing myself to others and their body types wasn't making me feel like someone I would want to know. I love to be around people, girls and guys both, that exude self-confidence. They love themselves no matter what. And so should I. And just stopping to realize that has helped tremendously. I went to a concert with friends last night, and I didn't even have a single twinge of jealousy at how “great” another girl looked. I was happy with my appearance. And more than that, I am just elated to be living the life God has provided me with. I have the best husband, dog, cat, family, friends, job, apartment, surroundings, etc. I’ll keep working at losing weight because I want to be healthy. I want to look my best and feel my best. But until I get to that point, I’m not going to let it hold me back by obsessing about how I look in relation to others. I’m beautiful. And so are you. :)

Love,